I guess it might be fun for you to know what kinds of cravings I have had while I've been pregnant with you. For the first part of the pregnancy - until about week 13 or 14 - I had mostly food aversions. Almost everything sounded and tasted gross. A few of the staples that I was able to eat were peanut butter toast, grilled cheese sandwiches, and chocolate milk. I drank chocolate milk all day long at that point! Once I got past that first queasy trimester, things got much better. In my second trimester I was hungry ALL the time. I would have breakfast at 7:00 and by the time I got to work at 7:45 I was hungry again. That eventually balanced out.
Some of my cravings in the last six months of pregnancy included sweet tea, Jack in the Box tacos, Spanish fries from Ron's Hamburgers, Laffy Taffy, pizza, peaches, strawberries and pineapple, grape juice, flavored water, popsicles, frozen yogurt, and cereal. I probably could have eaten cereal for every meal. I usually kept at least eight different kinds in the pantry.
Besides cravings, I have still had some strange dreams. Many of them have nothing to do with being a mommy or having a baby, but last week I had two about you. In one of them, I dreamt that your dad and I could take you out during the pregnancy and check on you periodically. He would unwrap you from some kind of cloth and play with you, even when you were smaller than his fist, and then wrap you back up and put you back in because you weren't ready yet. (I have no idea how we got you in and out.) Then a few weeks later we would do it again. Maybe I had this dream because I am SO excited to see you and find out what you look like!
The next night I had the very first dream where I could actually see your face and hold you. In this dream, you were still very new and I wanted to go to church but you weren't ready to go yet. So I asked my mother to stay home with you while I went to church. During the hand shaking time between the song service and the preaching I saw my mom there. When I asked her where you were, she said that you were fine and were sleeping at home. I couldn't believe she had left you there all alone! Of course I rushed home to check on you and found you snuggled in a bunch of blankets in the bathtub. And then I picked you up and snuggled you against my chest.
Now here is the really strange part of this dream... but first you need some backup story. Your dad has joked for months now about being afraid that you will have his nose. He thinks his nose is really huge and is afraid you'll have a big nose. He has mentioned it so many times that I just laugh it off. From the ultrasounds, I really think your nose will be more like mine, but even if it is like his, I know you'll be beautiful. (For the record, I don't think he has a terrible nose at all!) Anyway... in this dream, when I first picked you up and looked at you I noticed that you had the tiniest nose I had ever seen - it was scary and ugly because it was so tiny! You looked just like my baby pictures except your nose looked like Michael Jackson's nose or something. Yikes! I also realized that I had never fed you before - because even though you were probably at least three days old in the dream, when I decided it was time to feed you, I had no idea what to do.
I'm sure a lot of these crazy dreams come from my own insecurities about being a mom. Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and talked with the doctor about labor and delivery. We talked about what I wanted and how I wanted things to be and I told her that I wasn't really nervous about labor and delivery. The part I'm scared of is bringing you home and taking care of you by myself! I know my motherly instincts will kick in and I'll be able to take care of you - but it's the thought of raising you that is so overwhelming. I am constantly praying that I will be a good mother, that your dad will be a great father, and that we will raise you in a way that helps you to become a good person, kind, friendly, respectful of others, joyful, patient, and above all godly. I know it is possible with God's help and grace!
Speaking of talking with my doctor, at our last ultrasound a couple of weeks ago you were very funny. Before then we had seen you yawn, put your hands by your face, stick your foot up near your mouth and other cute things like that. But a couple of weeks ago (week 35) we saw you do the funniest thing yet. You licked me! Right now your head is down and your face is right behind the placenta. (That's why we can never get a great look at your face during ultrasounds - you like to hide!) We were watching your profile when you started to lick your lips. Then all of a sudden you stuck your tongue out very far and licked the placenta. While the ultrasound tech and I were laughing about it, you did it again, as if to show us that it was a deliberate action. I know it probably sounds gross, but it was the cutest thing! It's fun to think of you exploring your surroundings while your brain is developing.
Yesterday was my first visit to be checked by the doctor. I was 36 and a half weeks pregnant. I am dilated to a 2 and she was very surprised at how low you already are. She didn't seem to think that indicated an early arrival, but said things look great and I'm progressing toward the end. Your Grams was with me and she is afraid that if she goes to Youth Camp next week with the church kids that she might miss your big entrance. She is still planning on going - because I know that if she stayed, nothing would happen and she would have just wasted the week sitting around. But we are all getting very excited. The whole Palmer clan is hoping that you don't come right on your due date. Grandma and Grandpa Palmer are shooting a wedding that day somewhere out of town and Jacob and Jessica are shooting one too. Your dad has drill that weekend so he'll be at the base all day that day. Apparently, if you're not here before then I am going to have one lonely birthday! At any rate, I am ready for you any time now. Your room is ready, your clothes are washed and put away, your car seat is installed in the car, and I sit every day waiting for you to come. You are very VERY wiggly inside of me and make me quite uncomfortable. I joke around and tell people that I think you might be trying to hatch!
I can't wait to meet you and hold you and kiss you. I love you so much already!
I am HUGE here at 36 weeks. HUGE!
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